


Lingerie Day

by UnhelpfulPanda



Series: Fabulous Foursome [6]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bathroom Sex, Creampie, Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Lace Kink, Lingerie, Lingerie Kink, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Semi-Public Sex, Sibling Incest, and the cherubs are Dave's new snake!, because Dave is definitely the kind of guy to adopt a weirdass two headed snake, oops almost forgot a tag, the Lalondes own a lingerie shop because I said so, they are a two headed snake that Dave adopted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 15:11:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9129904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnhelpfulPanda/pseuds/UnhelpfulPanda
Summary: Dirk gets John to promise he will wear lingerie, and even if he only got John to promise because he was sexually torturing him, a promise IS a promise. John had put it off for as long as he could, but now it was Lingerie Day. However, some lacy red undergarments reveal that John may just have a kink.... a lace kink, to be exact.(EDIT: the title has been changed because I Am A Fool)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've always had the headcanon that Dave is a crossdresser and would casually wear women's panties under his jeans. I've also grown fond of the headcanon that John has a lingerie kink. So here's both of those in one.
> 
> I had an alternate, more serious idea to have John convince Dave to wear lingerie and Dave getting freaked out because his and Dirk's dad (coughBrocough) beat into them toxic masculinity and gender roles and so Dave wearing "girl" clothes really freaked him out until he safeworded and then his boyfriends comforted him and made him feel safe. BUT I decided it was too serious and sadstuck-y for this series. Maybe I'll write something outside this AU with this plot, though.
> 
> Shoutout to the "random fellow viewer" in the comments of my last fic, for helping me with the idea of the snake being the cherubs! (though their suggestion was for it to just be Caliborn)
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!

            “This is stupid!” John whined, tugging on Dirk’s arm insistently. Dirk rolled his eyes behind his shades, having heard that same phrase since they had gotten into the car. “Why can’t you order something lacy and dumb online??”

            “I swear to any god willing to listen to my incestuous gay ass, John, if you don’t stop your bratty whining I’ll take you to a store that _isn’t_ run by the Lalondes. Do you want to be arrested for being a pervert and have old ladies beat you with their purses??” Dirk demanded. John looked at him with big, anxious eyes. “Oh my fuck, Egbert, I’m joking. Kind of.”

            “But Rose and Roxy will make fun of me!” John whined, pouting childishly.

            “One, no they won’t. Two, Rose isn’t working today. Three, stop whining, you _promised_ ,” Dirk reminded. John narrowed his eyes up at the tallest of his boyfriends.

            “Because _you_ wouldn’t let me cum until I promised,” John responded. “You were TORTURING ME WITH YOUR DICK!” He shouted, and Dirk slapped a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth. An elderly woman passing by gave them a shocked look and hurried past.

            “Jesus fuck, Egbert, can you control yourself in public for like? Ten whole seconds?” Dirk inquired with exasperation. John shot him a dirty look and crossed his arms like a petulant child. “Don’t get your panties in a twist when we haven’t even bought them yet,” he smirked, earning a raspberry blown in his direction.

            They entered the lingerie shop and were greeted by racks upon racks of seductive undergarments. “Rolal?” Dirk called into the shop, glancing around. The older Lalonde was nowhere to be seen.

            Suddenly, their pink haired friend popped her head out from a nearby rack of lacy bras. “Finally! I thought Johnny chickened out and you wouldn’t come!” She called as she extracted herself from the bras.

            “He _tried_ to chicken out,” Dirk retorted as they watched Roxy lock the doors to her shop and turn the sign to read CLOSED. Roxy made chicken noises at the younger boy and teasingly made tickle hands at him.

            “C’mon, Rox, stop teasing. I wanna get out of here as soon as I can,” John whined. Roxy shrugged and went to grab her recommendations for Dirk.

            “Why don’t you go browse around? Maybe you can find some stuff to finagle your boyfriends into? I got Dirky here to wear my clothes to school once,” Roxy mentioned. “Though he stretched out one of my favorite shirts with those broad shoulders of his. And he looked better in my skirt than I did! So jealous…” she muttered. John chuckled and decided that yeah, maybe he could glance around. He could probably trick Jake into accepting a dare and make him wear a bra for a week, or something.

            Dirk and Roxy looked over her recommendations while John meandered around the store. Some of the lingerie _was_ very pretty, and if he was sexually into women he probably would think a girl would be really sexy in them. He picked up a dark purple set and tried to imagine Rose wearing it, but then got too uncomfortable imagining her in lingerie and moved on.

            John was about to give up his search when something caught his eye. It was a set of thigh highs and panties. The thigh highs were red and lacy, with a black lacy garter belt, and lacy red panties. Lace galore.

            John’s mind began to race. Visions of Dave wearing the set for him. Dave spread out on his bed, cheeks flushed and legs spread. Dave with his boner trapped in the lacy panties, begging John to touch him. Dave on his knees between John’s legs, mouth stretched around his cock and red eyes on him, pupils blown wide in arousal. Dave disheveled and drooling, garter belt unhooked and panties hanging off one leg as John fucked his ass. Dave with his ass up in the air and dripping John’s cum from his hole. Dave Dave Dave-

            “John? You okay?” Dirk asked, touching his face lightly. John jolted, his attention snapping from his naughty thoughts to his concerned boyfriend. “Your face is warm and red, and you’re breathing heavily. What’s wrong?” he asked, worry clear in his orange eyes.

            John nodded, glancing at the lingerie set he had been looking at, and back to Dirk. “C-can we get this too? For Dave?” He asked, trying to sound normal, but the breathy tone of his voice gave him away. Of course Dirk would understand what was going on.

            Dirk grabbed the set and went up to buy it and talk to Roxy. John stayed where he was, trying to hide the bulge in his pants. He watched Dirk hand Roxy $40. Roxy glanced at John, rolled her eyes, traded the $40 for her store key, pointed at Dirk sternly, and said one last thing before leaving them alone in the store.

            “What did you tell her?” John asked when Dirk came back to him, bag of lacy goodies in hand. Dirk grabbed him around the waist and tugged him in for a kiss, which John desperately returned.

            “I told her to treat herself to a nice long lunch,” Dirk chuckled against the other’s lips, “She told us not to make a mess of her store’s bathroom.” John’s face flushed harder, but the promise of getting a bit of relief before tonight’s ‘main event’ had him tugging Dirk urgently towards said bathroom.

 

* * *

 

 

            Meanwhile, Jake and Dave were waiting patiently for their lovers to return with the lacy loot.

            …Well, _Dave_ was waiting patiently.

            “They’re taking so flipping long!” Jake complained, bouncing up and down on the couch eagerly. “They got me all riled up and now they are taking their sweet time! I’ve been waiting _forever_!!”

            “Stop complaining, dude, it hasn’t even been that long,” Dave retorted.

            “It’s been, like, three whole hours, Dave!” Jake protested.

            “One hour, thirty four minutes,” Dave corrected with ease, not even bothering to look up from whatever it was he was doing.

            “But I’m hornyyyyyy,” Jake whined, frowning. Dave finally looked up at him with a grin on his face.

            “Wanna touch my trouser snake?” he offered, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. Jake perked up for a moment, then narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

            “If I reach my hand into your trousers and I find your actual blasted snake, I am going to _annihilate_ you,” Jake threatened, “And _not_ in the sexy way.”

            Dave frowned, pulling his pet snake out of his pants pocket. “You’re no fun,” he muttered, patting the snake’s two heads lightly with a finger. The nicer head, Calliope, nuzzled his finger lovingly. The meaner head, Caliborn, bit the same finger. “Ow, you little fucker, that was rude,” Dave scolded as he went to go put the snake away.

            “I don’t know why you bought the one with two heads, especially when they warned you one of them was an asshole and bit people all the time,” Jake called to the younger Strider.

           “Yeah, but c’mon, _two heads_. You can’t tell me that’s not bitchin’,” Dave responded, coming back sans snake and plopping himself down in Jake’s lap. “Jesus fuck, have you had that boner since John and Dirk left?” Dave inquired.

            “It was much harder then, but yes, yes I have,” Jake confirmed.

            “Well tell your wiener to stop that or its gonna bruise my asscheek,” Dave huffed. Before Jake could reply, their lovers returned home. Dirk’s shirt was, very notably, on inside out. Dave pointed and laughed.

            “Why are you laughing? I got a blowjob. Did you get a blowjob?” Dirk smirked. Dave immediately stopped laughing.

            “You’ve been gone for forever!” Jake whined.

            “One hour, fifty eight minutes,” Dave corrected once again. John rolled his eyes.

            “I know you’re just _soooo_ eager to see me in women’s underwear, but you’ll have to wait just a bit longer for me to actually put it on,” John snapped. Jake practically melted, whining pathetically.

            “Also, we got a set for Dave,” Dirk added, tossing the set to Dave. Dave looked down at the items and shrugged, beginning to undress. “Ah, actually, you should go into the other room to change,” Dirk suggested. Dave and Jake both gave the older blonde a quizzical look. “Our little Egbert seems to have a kink,” Dirk explained with a grin. John’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Dave chuckled and left the room to go change into his lingerie.

           Dirk and Jake helped John get into his own set, though Jake really wasn’t much help. The thigh highs were striped white and sky blue, held up to the matching panties with white garters. “Doesn’t Dave need help too?” John asked as he finished adjusting the garments.

            “Nah, he’s got enough practice dressing himself,” Dirk waved off.

            “He’s worn lingerie before??” John cried. Dirk shrugged. “Why hasn’t he told me?? Why haven’t I seen him in anything before??” John inquired almost frantically.

            “I haven’t really worn any lady’s clothes in a while,” Dave answered before Dirk could. They all turned to look at him in his new clothing. John’s jaw dropped. “Like what you see?” he asked teasingly.

            “Wow, Dave, you and John both look ravishing,” Jake said in awe.

            “I like John’s better; no lace. Though lace _does_ look very sexy on you, Dave,” Dirk added.

            “Well, thank you. I mean, usually I don’t wear lace, but it does kind of-!” Dave was cut off mid reply by John practically attacking him. John kissed him desperately, hands rubbing at the younger blonde’s lace-adorned ass in obvious appreciation.

            “Calm down, love,” Jake chuckled, tugging John back. John made a noise of complaint at not being able to touch his red eyed lover, straining in Jake’s arms.

           “And that’s why I told you to change in the other room,” Dirk grinned. Dave nodded, still looking dazed. “I’ll tell you what, John: get us off and we will let you do whatever you want to Dave after. That okay with you, Dave?” Dirk asked.

           “Hell yeah, it’s okay,” Dave snorted. Jake more or less dragged John to the bedroom, the two Striders following after, and instructed John to get on his knees at the foot of the bed, then rid himself of his clothes and sat with his legs on either side of John’s body.

            “Now blow me like you blew Dirk earlier,” Jake ordered. John didn’t have to be told twice, tongue immediately darting out the run along the underside of Jake’s cock. The Strider brothers joined Jake’s side on the bed, though their focus was more on each other. Their tongues tangled together as Dirk pulled the back of Dave’s panties aside and pressed a lubed finger into him.

            Dave moaned, and John echoed the sound around Jake dick and took him deeper into his mouth. Jake ran his fingers through John’s hair and mumbled a word of praise before Dirk’s gasp of pleasure had both their attention back on the blondes.

            Dave was kissing and nipping at Dirk’s neck as he jerked him off at the same pace he was being fingerfucked, drawing small sounds of pleasure from the older blonde. Dirk ran his free hand along his brother’s lace clothed leg, smirking down at John when the blue eyed boy whimpered in aroused envy.

            Jake tangled his fingers in the black hair and tugged, snapping John’s attention back to him. “Pay attention to the task at hand, my dear,” he chided breathlessly.

            “Pretty sure his task is in his mouth, actually,” Dirk snickered, letting out a small yelp after when his unamused partner bit down harder on his neck. John narrowed his eyes in concentration and swallowed Jake’s cock down to the hilt, making Jake throw his head back with a shout of pleasure.

            John didn’t let up, bobbing his head quickly even as Jake stuttered out, “S-slow down, chap, you’re gonna make me-” Emerald and sapphire eyes met and Jake whimpered at the lusty look in his lover’s gaze. “Oh my god, John, I’m gonna cum,” he warned, though his warning was redundant as John could feel his dick throb against his tongue.

            Jake grabbed Dirk and mashed their mouths together to muffle his moans, his hand joining Dave’s to bring Dirk to his finish as well. John whined around Jake’s length at the sight of his three lovers all getting attention whilst he hadn’t gotten any. The vibration sent Jake over the edge, cumming down John’s throat with a moan of his name against Dirk’s mouth. Dirk gasped and followed quickly after, his orgasm dirtying Dave’s hand.

            “Alright, John, he’s all yours,” Dirk panted heavily, detangling himself from Dave and scooting back with Jake to give them room. Dave smirked seductively down at his unattended lover and licked Dirk’s release from his dirty hand while his clean one rubbed his dick through his lacy panties.

            “Are you gonna dirty me up even more, John?” he asked teasingly, and John growled and climbed up onto the bed, capturing his lips desperately. Dave gasped and let John shove his tongue into his mouth, tasting Jake’s lingering flavor on him and moaning at the taste.

            John tugged his striped panties down just far enough to release his cock, glancing back at Dirk. “You know my undies are gonna have a huge stain on them, right?” He asked rhetorically as he tugged the red lace of Dave's own panties down and off his body.

            “Just as long as you don’t ruin Dave’s; yours I can wash, but if you cum on the lace it will probably get trashed,” Dirk responded.

            “Duly noted,” John grinned, catching the lube Jake tossed his way. He lubed up his cock and then spread Dave’s legs, watching Dave’s face as he finally, _finally_ , entered him.

            Dave arched his back and moaned at the feeling of being filled. John ran his hands along the lace covered legs of his lover as he thrust into him hard and fast, fascinated at the feel of lace on heated skin. Dave wrapped his legs around his waist, whimpering at him, “Harder, please harder, I need it!”

            John gripped the blonde’s waist hard enough to leave bruises, pulling him down to meet his thrusts. They were so absorbed in each other that they didn’t hear their other two lovers talking in hushed tones, nor did they see Jake get up and sneak off for a moment before returning. They only were shaken from their focus at the sound of a phone camera capturing a photo.

            They both turned to see Dirk, holding his phone pointed at them. He didn’t even spare a glance at them before continuing to snap photos of the duo mid fuck. Jake had the decency to at least give them a sheepish look. “You two do make a very lovely picture in lingerie. You’re absolutely delectable,” he admitted.

            “Don’t mind me, just keep fucking,” Dirk added without even looking up from the phone. John rolled his eyes and returned to what he was doing. Or, rather, _who_ he was doing.

            Dave dug his nails into his lover’s back as John started thrusting again, leaning down to nip and suck at the blonde’s bare neck. “J-John, I- I can’t, please, let me cum!” he begged, nails scratching small red lines down John’s back.

            “Cum for me, Dave,” John ordered, wrapping one hand around Dave’s cock and twisting the other in his hair to pull his head back and capture his mouth in a hungry, desperate kiss. Dirk continued to snap pictures as they finished, capturing their tongues tangled together, capturing Dave arching his back and cumming, and (his favorite) a shot of John pulling out right after cumming inside the younger Strider, dripping his own cum between them.

            “Oh my god, I am saving this one forever,” Dirk muttered to himself.

            “While you’re taking pictures, you want to get a shot of my creampie?” John grinned mischievously, ignoring Dave’s whimper of arousal and embarrassment. Dirk took him up on the offer, and they rolled Dave over with his ass in the air and got a picture of him in that position, cum dripping from his ass down his leg as he looked over his shoulder with lusty red eyes.

            “Fuck, you are an evil genius. Now hurry up and clean him off before you get cum on the thigh highs and ruin the lace,” Dirk demanded, tossing some baby wipes John’s way.

            Together, they cleaned all of them up, John stripped himself and Dave down to nothing, and then they all snuggled under the blankets. None of them spoke for a while.

            “……Are we going to talk about how I put on some lacy panties and John tried to destroy my ass or…?” Dave finally spoke up tiredly. John swatted him lightly upside his head. “Hey!”

            “We all have kinks, Dave, and it’s rude to try to humiliate someone for their kinks,” Jake mentioned.

            “I’ll kinkshame whoever I want, English,” Dave retorted.

            “Dave is problematic, nobody tell him,” Dirk mock whispered.

            “Says the two into petplay,” Dave snorted back.

            “You little shit!” Dirk snapped, sitting up and glaring at Dave.

            “You said you wouldn’t tell anyone!” Jake whined, also sitting up and peeking around Dirk’s shoulder.

            “Wait, you really are into petplay?” John asked with a grin, glancing from Dirk and Jake’s embarrassed faces to Dave’s smug one.

            “Fuck you, Egbert, it’s none of your business,” Dirk huffed.

            “Here kitty kitty,” Dave teased, and John had to block Dirk before he tackled his brother.

            “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you guys. It’s kinda cute,” John smiled.

            “All in favor of making Dave sleep on the floor?” Jake asked.

            “Don’t puppies sleep at the foot of the bed?” Dave shot back. John held up his hands before Jake could clamber over Dirk to attack the younger blonde.

            “One, Dave, stop being a shithead. Two, let’s not ruin the post coital glow or whatever? And three… we will talk about the petplay thing another time,” John said in an attempt to deescalate the situation.

            “Not if I murder Dave first,” Dirk grumbled, laying back down and curling up against John.

            “Kitty’s got claws,” Dave mumbled under his breath, and Dirk reached over and pinched him. “Ow!”

            “You deserved that,” John commented with a snort, spooned between the two Striders. Dave pouted to himself for only a moment before Dirk leaned over and kissed the spot he pinched in apology, and then Jake was turning out the lights and they all settled in for the night, smiles on each of their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> The very end is a bit weak, I didn't know how to finish it honestly. I added in their little argument because 1) gives me the plot for a later fic in the series (probably the next one but maybe I'll save it for later, 2) it shows that they do have conflicts, but they get over them quickly because they love each other, and 3) it shows that Dave is honestly such a little shit, and even if he is dating his brother, they ARE still brothers.
> 
> I don't think this is one of my better fics of the series, but I had a lot of trouble writing it for some reason so I'm glad I got it finished!


End file.
